new year, new me?

New year, new me?

Nah.

No resolutions.
Ever.

I do not possess enough self-discipline for resolutions.

I will not lose any weight.
I will not meet the man of the my dreams.
I will not get a better job.
I will not end up reading a book a week.

Those are the resolutions of the past, and I never EVER kept to a one of them.

I mean I did lose weight but just by sheer virtue of not eating or drinking as much as I used to.

I did reconnect with the man I thought was my ideal, but it turns out I was wrong about that too. He's still the most lovely person I've ever known, but I think, in hindsight, I deluded myself into believing he was the love of my life.

I do not think that I have, as of yet, met the love of my life or the man of my dreams. I don't really think I will actually, and I'm certainly not going to resolve to it.

I did get a better job, but purely by chance. I didn't put a whole lot of effort into looking for a job and this one sorta fell into my lap. It's turned out okay though. It was a challenge to learn the processes, and it continues to be a challenge to work within a "team. But I don't think I'll be looking for a better job this year since I'm actually just lucky to have a job at all in this economy.

I did resolve to read a book a week last year, and I was doing SO well. I was dating this jackass who watched A LOT of basketball so I was able to read my book a week entirely on the Saturday and Sunday nights the Lakers played. Then he "game over'd" me on 4/20 (it's a blog for another day), and there went my resolve. Instead I spent 4 months feeling sorry for myself. As many books as I have in my bag right now-half read and unread, and, as much as I know I have to got to read more, I do also know that I have like 10 movies on the DVR that I have to watch this weekend.

Sigh.

Therefore I make no resolutions. I resolve to be the same Marina I was on Wednesday (which was a fairly angry Marina because she had to work). I will not torture myself with any delusions of self-discipline because I know I have none at all.

New year, old me.

F*** Yeah.

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