Once again into the...
Cesspool of human frailty and rejection that is DATING.
So I took a 2 month break after the end of my last "whatever the hell that was I was doing with that asshole". I wasn't heartbroken or missing him really, but I was feeling rather down about men, my ability to attract a decent man, and my age-my hair-my weight-my future.
Also, for whatever the reason, the person that I am is someone who never takes break-ups lightly. Even when it's a good thing to break-up with someone, it still takes me awhile to shake it. I think it's also part of my inability to cheat on a partner. Yes, I know but I really cannot cheat on someone.I have tried. I came so close that I was even an hour away from meeting up with someone I was going to have a fling with (while in a committed relationship)and chickened out. It should be noted that when I "tried" the committed relationship was in tatters, and I knew it was going to work out. Still didn't matter. Couldn't do it.
I usually chalk this deficiency up to being born in the Year of the Dog. I assume I'm too loyal for my own good.
Anyway, back to the topic on hand. I discovered this new site that's rather creative - you post dates - etc. Posted some dates, couldn't figure out how the website worked for a month, was contacted, etc...
Now, I do hate first meetings, but this one wasn't bad. He was smart, polite, paid, and we talked for a very long time. I did, however, know that he wasn't attracted to me. I'm not sure how I knew that, but I knew. I think it's just years and years of dating and hanging with men in bars. I just know. Unfortunately, I was attracted to his height, but he had bad teeth so it's not a huge loss. I should focus on the positive which is...he paid for breakfast and was polite. As my mother says, "It's always nice to make a new friend."
Now, when I didn't get an email or a phone call Sunday evening or all day yesterday, I knew my instinct was correct, but to log into the website this afternoon and see that he posted a new date?
Before I COULD?
Fucker.
It is the nature of me to feel rejected. It just is. I'm not going to lie and say it's fine. It kinda sucked, and again...could dating suck more? I know it couldn't suck less.
Anyway, I changed my profile photo and posted a new date too.
I just wish I had done it Sunday evening before he did.
Fucker.
P.S. If y'all think I have OCD...this guy prepares recipes from one cookbook in order, never repeats the recipes, and then places the cookbook on a shelf never to use a recipe again.
So I took a 2 month break after the end of my last "whatever the hell that was I was doing with that asshole". I wasn't heartbroken or missing him really, but I was feeling rather down about men, my ability to attract a decent man, and my age-my hair-my weight-my future.
Also, for whatever the reason, the person that I am is someone who never takes break-ups lightly. Even when it's a good thing to break-up with someone, it still takes me awhile to shake it. I think it's also part of my inability to cheat on a partner. Yes, I know but I really cannot cheat on someone.I have tried. I came so close that I was even an hour away from meeting up with someone I was going to have a fling with (while in a committed relationship)and chickened out. It should be noted that when I "tried" the committed relationship was in tatters, and I knew it was going to work out. Still didn't matter. Couldn't do it.
I usually chalk this deficiency up to being born in the Year of the Dog. I assume I'm too loyal for my own good.
Anyway, back to the topic on hand. I discovered this new site that's rather creative - you post dates - etc. Posted some dates, couldn't figure out how the website worked for a month, was contacted, etc...
Now, I do hate first meetings, but this one wasn't bad. He was smart, polite, paid, and we talked for a very long time. I did, however, know that he wasn't attracted to me. I'm not sure how I knew that, but I knew. I think it's just years and years of dating and hanging with men in bars. I just know. Unfortunately, I was attracted to his height, but he had bad teeth so it's not a huge loss. I should focus on the positive which is...he paid for breakfast and was polite. As my mother says, "It's always nice to make a new friend."
Now, when I didn't get an email or a phone call Sunday evening or all day yesterday, I knew my instinct was correct, but to log into the website this afternoon and see that he posted a new date?
Before I COULD?
Fucker.
It is the nature of me to feel rejected. It just is. I'm not going to lie and say it's fine. It kinda sucked, and again...could dating suck more? I know it couldn't suck less.
Anyway, I changed my profile photo and posted a new date too.
I just wish I had done it Sunday evening before he did.
Fucker.
P.S. If y'all think I have OCD...this guy prepares recipes from one cookbook in order, never repeats the recipes, and then places the cookbook on a shelf never to use a recipe again.
